The story of the straight spouse
THE TRANS TRAIN
What happens when your husband confesses to a whole new identity?
https://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/downloads/doh-transgender-experiences.pdf.
This is a link to a really excellent information leaflet to help educate about the experiences of trans people, their rights and choices
This is a very good website however the majority of stories are geared toward those who have come out as gay or bisexual rather than transgender. I am working my way through the literature they recommend. For reviews see book group.
Teni is the LGBTQ support network in Ireland. I reached out to them at the beginning of my journey and attended some support meetings in my local city.I attended their support network for straight spouses but was firmly in the minority.The group was a great forum for people whose spouses who have identified as a different sexuality. But the issues were very different for me. I started to wish that was all I had to deal with! I think the success of any support network is conditional on it's local population. With my local area being relatively devoid of trangender adults coming out the support it can offer will be limited. If your local suppport network doesn't have what you need consider the national groups. Also consider that local groups need my support to enable a better understanding of the complexities facing this population.
This is a refreshingly honest account of 1 transvestite male. It gives an insight into his motivations and to the psychology of the non-transitioning transvestite male. He has clearly done some meaningful work on himself. And he comes to this conclusion.
“The world is full of odd people behaving in odd ways and transvestites are by no means the oddest of the lot – a civilised society is one which can tolerate the eccentricities of its members where they do not curtail the freedoms of others.”
I know this and I do aim to be ‘civilised’. It’s nice to be reminded why.
This is a link to an excellent interview between a psychologist and Kristin Collier. It discusses the emotional impact of discovering your husband is transgender in and the journey from a traditional marriage to a parenting partnership defined by compassion. Kristin Collier is an excellent communicator and talks about a really difficult time with humour and love.
This is a site that is geared towards education of people parenting what they term the ‘gender expansive’ child. It is a beautiful reference point on gender and it defines the spectrum that children can find themselves in. Although it is not targeted at me, the trans partner, I found it clear and helpful and will refer to it as an education source for my children.
https://www.drugrehab.com/guides/lgbtq
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I was approached by the editor of this site to link the resource on my site. At first I was surprised that I would be of any import to them. However on review of the site it is an excellent resource for addiction. I have spoken about addiction in my blog and it is a topic I will return to. At times on this journey, because of my husband's lack of insight into himself, I have struggled to understand whether his trans expression is an expression of addiction or of gender dysphoria or both. In truth, whether it is an expression of an addictive behaviour or whether people self medicate to cope with the mental health sequelae of not living in your true self, addiction is never far away. I have been told countless times of the impact on the Trans person when their support network walks. This link is a clear guide to many types of addiction and would be of help both to the LGBTQI community, as well as those who are coping with the transition and loss that may be associated. I for one was a little bit apprehensive about mapping myself on the drinking index. I appreciate their diligence in reaching out to little old me!
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