Sources of Support: Part 2

On-line Resources

I searched on-line for sources of reference and support. I found very little of substance in the middle ground. Some websites offer unbiased support but I felt that they had a clear bias. I didn’t read anything in the early days that gave me any decent starting point for myself. It seemed to be simple. You stay or you go. When I asked the group facilitator for links to educate myself I was told that there was so little information for spouses as so few people had come out. I had to accept I was in relative Siberia.

At the time my husband came out the media had started to really open up to the discussion about gender fluidity and transgender with the transformation of Caitlyn Jenner. I purged myself on coverage of Mrs Kardashian. As someone pretty far removed from Kardashian in my daily life it is the deepest irony to me that her soundbites were such a support. In fact it was an interview on Loose Women that dragged me out of despair. She said simply ‘I have love’. Whatever uncertainty and torment she had about the validity of her relationship and her long life with this man who reported to a life of lies , in the end of the day, quite simply, she had love. So I started from there.

Things have definitely changed for the better in the last 4 years but, from my perspective, I still think the actual content is lacking. Mostly it’s about the end point not the process. And you can’t have an end point without a process.

Tedtalks were a better place for me to learn more meaningfully about the world in which I now lived. It was helpful to watch and listen to a wider range of people. People who are transitioning, spouses, surgeons, psychologists. I was surprised, again, at the limited amount of content , but it definitely gave me more to connect with.

I endeavour to share what I have found. I welcome any other sources that people find.